the creatures of the night
usually put up quite a fight
but if you poke them in the eye
they will often start to cry

those little bastards
in the rafters
of your mind’s lidless sky

but if you’re looking for some kicks
head on down to River Styx
prick your ears up to the wind
and you will hear some kindred
spirits singing something going

Phlegm! Phlegm!
Sing “Hey!” for the praises of Phlegm!

it feels so funny
when it’s running
down your throat
into your stomach
but it’s better
when it’s wetter
(why use spit to seal a letter?)

oh, it’s chewy and it’s tasty
just as good as steak-n-gravy

it’s the homemade gum that
lasts for hours: chewing gives you
oral powers

Phlegm: it cures what ails you!
Phlegm is Nature’s mouth-glue!


if you really liked your friends then
you would share your Phlegm with them
and they would love you till your end:

Suffocation via Snot
(we think you’ll like it quite a lot!)

Snort it Down!
Hack it Up!
Spit it Out!
That’s what Phlegm is all about!

marvel as it flies
past your lips
onto the thighs
of smiling passers-by
(smiling for one simple reason…your personal secretion!)

so when you’re feeling down and out
with all your might let loose a spout
(until the demons kick you out)


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